Our Homeschooling Story
I have a friend who told me once that she always wanted to homeschool her kids and she did. At the time, I thought to myself, “Who in the world would want to do that?” I had no desire to homeschool. My husband and I both were public school kids and that just seemed normal to us. It wasn’t something we considered or even thought about when we had kids. All four of my kids started in public schools and my oldest (daughter) graduated from a public school.
Our story begins when our oldest son was in third grade. Until then, he had great teachers. I was very pleased with the ways things were going. I always went to school parties and field trips. I was in constant contact with his teachers. Then came third grade.
First, I want to say that this experience is not a typical one and in no way do I even wish to insinuate that public school teachers are anything less than wonders made by God. However, there are exceptions — occasionally a bad apple slips into the barrel. My son had always loved school, but almost from the git go that year he complained that he hated school and he didn’t want to go anymore.
At fall parent-teacher conference, our world changed. At our school, teachers co-teach and in third grade all the classes have pairs of teachers for each class. Each teacher teaches half the subjects and the classes rotate classrooms. At the conference, our son’s two teachers were very forceful in trying to convince me that our son was ADHD and that he needed to be on medication. They insisted that they had tried everything and could not get him to work. For the first time ever, our son was getting bad grades. I tried talking to the principal who told me he was being bullied by other kids, which was a shock to me because our son has always been larger and stronger than average. More conferences with the principal revealed that his teacher had almost no completed work for him in the two months he was in her class. What was going on? The next school year would find this teacher carted off in handcuffs. She is currently serving a 35-year prison sentence for child exploitation.
After much prayer and consideration, my husband and I decided it would be best to pull him out of school and homeschool him for one year. In fact, we left our other two sons in school when we withdrew him. Going back and forth to school three times a day with our other two boys got to be such a chore that we removed them from public schools as well. I cried when I took my middle son out of his class because his teacher had been his Sunday school teacher a few years before. In fact, my youngest son had another Sunday school teacher from our church as his PreK teacher. Let’s just say that I still love both of these wonderful ladies. Still, the plan was to return all three to the public schools the next school year.
All three of my boys have been active in sports their entire lives. I began to notice that they started to enjoy sports more after we began homeschooling, mainly because they were no longer tired when they went to evening practices. Sleeping later has its advantages. Instead of whining, they were excited to go.
We went on field trips whenever and wherever we wanted. We used videos as a fun way to teach certain things. On that note, Schoolhouse Rock is still one of my favorites. We began our school days with morning devotionals, discussion and prayer. We worked on snow days and played on sunny days. Since we didn’t have all the empty time the public school does (by its nature), we would be finished most days by noon. We even noticed that the kids were never sick anymore. By the time school started the next year, we were loving homeschooling.
Flash forward to today. Our boys are 18, 16 and almost 14. Yes, we have a house full of teenagers. We both have close relationships with all three boys. Most nights, we have to kick them out of our bedroom so we can sleep because they will stay as long as we let them just to talk. This summer, they all three opted for a family vacation rather than passes to the local theme parks. Because we have taught our kids the Bible, apologetics and reasoning skills, we often have some pretty deep theological discussions. Our values are their values. They have always been free to discuss anything they are interested in. We have truly invested in their lives. They know they are deeply loved. We have always been able to allow them a great deal of freedom in their decisions because they are trustworthy.
To say were are proud of the men they are becoming is an understatement. I frequently get comments about how well behaved and polite they are. In case you were wondering, they are not the least bit socially awkward and have no trouble relating to others, especially adults. In fact, they are accustomed to being in a wide range of social situations.
Don’t get me wrong. Homeschooling is hard too — and stressful. Forget all those hours while the kids are in school to grocery shop or clean the house all alone. Nope, you’re taking them with you and cleaning around them. If you don’t have a ton of storage space, say hello to clutter. Homeschooling takes loads of space for desks, books and supplies. The most agonizing part of homeschooling for me was choosing curriculum. No more blaming the teacher or the school system if they don’t learn something because it’s all on you. The flip side of that, however, is no more putting up with your kids learning things you don’t want them to learn!
There’s also the financial aspect. It costs money to homeschool. Granted it can be done very economically and you will find cheap and free resources if you hunt, but it’s never completely free. Then there’s sports. In our state, it’s not difficult until junior high. The public schools cannot allow homeschooled students to participate in school sports. Nevermind that you pay the same taxes as everyone else, but I digress. There are options for secondary sports, art, chorus, band, debate, drama, etc. There are coops if you prefer more interaction for your kids. Again, those aren’t free and can become very expensive for the homeschooled family.
Despite every stressful or tiring moment, every minute of alone time sacrificed, and every dollar spent, it was worth everything for the relationship. The sacrifices were inconsequential compared to the benefits. I’m looking back on 10 years of homeschooling and looking forward to five more years of having at least one kid at home and I have never regretted the decision we made to homeschool all those years ago. Of course, there are things I sometimes wish would have turned out differently, but I would never trade this experience for the world.
We no longer traditionally homeschool because I returned to the workforce a few years ago. Instead, my sons are attending a virtual charter school. We’ve been happy with the experience and it offers us the opportunity to be involved as little or as much as we choose. Our teacher is fabulous. Also, in our state, it will allow the boys to get a high school diploma, which is not an option for traditionally homeschooled students.
I urge you to make the decision that is best for your family. I realize that not everyone has the opportunity to homeschool for any number of reasons. Public and private schools are better choices for some. I never wanted to homeschool until I did. We only chose homeschooling as a result of unique circumstances that I believe were orchestrated by God in order to for us to see homeschooling as an option. I would never have considered it otherwise.
What I deeply desire is that someone will read this and their life would be changed for the better by homeschooling like ours was. I cannot fully express to you in mere words the value of the relationships we have built with our children as a direct result of homeschooling. I would beg you to give this a try if it is at all an option for your family. Read other homeschooling stories before you decide. Although I can’t imagine that you would regret homeschooling, it doesn’t have to be a permanent decision if it doesn’t work out. Public and private schools are always there should you decide this isn’t for your family. Don’t feel bad if it doesn’t work for you. Education isn’t one-size-fits-all. Options are the luxury of living in a free society.
“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (emphasis mine)