Faith Is Built by Adversity
I have a confession: I love quizzes. You know, “Are you a real Trekkie?” “Can you name all of these 70s rock bands?” “No one can get 100% on this Bible quiz.” You’ve seen those and hundreds more on social media. I also love personality tests. Do these tests reveal who I think I am? Might they reveal some secret about myself I haven’t seen before? I like spiritual gifts tests too. Do I have some unbeknownst gift that I’m not using?
They say that spiritual gifts tests will remain fairly constant throughout your lifetime because they are measurements of gifts and not skills, but I’ve found that’s not entirely true. While my primary gift of teaching has remained constant throughout the years, some of the secondary gifts have changed over time. Interestingly, my “ungifts” have also remained constant. (Ungifts or anti-gifts as I sometimes call them are the qualities you would score a zero on the test if it were possible. In other words, an area in which you are not gifted at all.) The shifting sands of spiritual gifts seem to be those in the middle of the scale.
Part of my decision making process for deciding whether or not to return to school was taking spiritual gifts tests to see if I was well-suited for ministry. After I graduated, I retook some of those tests to see how things had changed. As I expected, my scores were higher in certain areas reflecting the training I had received, but the one that jumped out at me the most was that my gift of faith had significantly increased. How could that be?
I started to think about what all our family had gone through in about a five year period of time. My husband’s employer downsized and he lost his job. His mother passed in a matter of a few months with pancreatic cancer. He had a cancer scare, then numerous other health problems which, stacked upon each other, became disabling and he lost his ability to work. All the while, I’m homeschooling three boys and trying to finish a college degree.
BUT GOD, amidst all the difficulties, provided for us every step of the way. Our Christian friends were very generous with us. Money would come from the most unlikely places. Over that entire difficult period, we were never homeless; we never lacked for food; we never had our utilities cut off; our kids had Christmas gifts; and they were even able to play sports. God provided every time we had a need and most of those times, he come through just in the nick of time. (That is a faith-building experience in itself.) We learned through the struggles that God provides in the mightiest of ways.
Even more important than providing financially, God kept my husband alive. At one point, he was hospitalized with a condition that has only a 10% survival rate. By God’s grace he has mostly recovered. Through this difficult time, I learned to lean upon God for the strength I didn’t possess within myself. Many a day I wept through my prayers begging God to make me strong because that was all I could say. Remembrance of these desperate prayers still brings me to tears today.
On the other side of this deep, dark valley, I can say, without reservation, that God takes care of his people. He never ever failed us, not even once.
I can look back on those years and really know, through experience, that God is indeed faithful.
Israel knew God was faithful. During the passover meal, they would remember how the angel of death passed over their homes. When they would look upon the twelve rocks piled near the Jordan River, they would remember how God stopped the river flowing and they crossed into the promised land. It’s also important for us to look back and remember what God has done in our past to boost our confidence about what he will do in the future. “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. (Heb 11:1)
I can honestly say that my faith grew during this time of trials. Adversity was a gift that allowed me the opportunity to fully depend upon God. That time of my life was probably one of the most difficult I have ever endured. Now on the other side, I can see how it shaped me for the better, like the refining of gold. As Joseph so aptly put it, “you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.” (Gen 50:20) Things may seem evil at the time, but God can and will use them for our good.
One last word of encouragement from the Apostle Paul, “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Rom 5:3-5)